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Tom Lehrer lyrics A Christmas Carol lyrics One very familiar type of song is the Christmas carol. Although it is perhaps a bit out of season at this time. However, I'm informed by my ";disk jockey"; friends - of whom I have none, that in order to get a song popular by Christmas time, you have to start plugging it well in advance. So here goes. It has always seemed to me after all. That Christmas, with its spirit of giving, offers us all a wonderful opportunity each year to reflect on what we all most sincerely and deeply believe in. I refer of course, to money. And yet none of the Christmas carols that you hear on the radio or in the street, even attempt to capture the true spirit of Christmas as we celebrate it in the United States. That is to say the commercial spirit. So I should like to offer the following Christmas carol for next year, as being perhaps a bit more appropriate. Christmas time is here, by golly, Disapproval would be folly, Deck the halls with hunks of holly, Fill the cup and don't say ";when."; Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens, Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens, Even though the prospect sickens, Brother, here we go again. On Christmas Day you can't get sore, Your fellow man you must adore, There's time to rob him all the more The other three hundred and sixty-four. Relations, sparing no expense'll Send some useless old utensil, Or a matching pen and pencil. ";Just the thing I need! How nice!"; It doesn't matter how sincere it Is, nor how heartfelt the spirit, Sentiment will not endear it, What's important is the price. Hark the Herald Tribune sings, Advertising wondrous things. God rest ye merry, merchants, May you make the Yuletide pay. Angels we have heard on high Tell us to go out and buy! So let the raucous sleigh bells jingle, Hail our dear old friend Kris Kringle, Driving his reindeer across the sky. Don't stand underneath when they fly by. Actually I did rather well myself, this last Christmas. The nicest present I received was a gift certificate ";good at any hospital for a lobotomy";. Rather thoughtful. Other Tom Lehrer lyrics: Poisoning Pigeons In The Park lyrics She's My Girl lyrics The Masochism Tango lyrics Bright College Days lyrics The Elements lyrics Oedipus Rex lyrics In Old Mexico lyrics Clementine lyrics It Makes A Fellow Proud To Be A Soldier lyrics We Will All Go Together When We Go lyrics The Wild West Is Where I Want To Be lyrics The Old Dope Peddler lyrics Lobachevsky lyrics The Irish Ballad lyrics My Home Town lyrics When You Are Old And Gray lyrics The Wiener Schnitzel Waltz lyrics I Hold Your Hand In Mine lyrics Be Prepared lyrics I Wanna Go Back To Dixie lyrics Fight Fiercely, Harvard! lyrics The Hunting Song lyrics National Brotherhood Week lyrics MLF Lullaby lyrics The Folk Song Army lyrics Send The Marines lyrics The Vatican Rag lyrics George Murphy lyrics Smut lyrics Pollution lyrics So Long, Mom (A Song for World War III) lyrics Whatever Became of Hubert? lyrics New Math lyrics Alma lyrics Who's Next? lyrics Wernher von Braun lyrics |