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A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum Soundtrack lyrics I'm a Calm lyrics [HYSTERIUM] I'm calm, I'm calm, I'm perfectly calm, I'm utterly under control. I haven't a worry: Where others would hurry I stroll. I'm calm, I'm cool, A gibbering fool Is something I never become. When thunder is rumbling And others are crumbling, I hum. Hm--hmmm--hmmmmm!!!!! HMMMMM!!!! H-M-M-M!!!! I must think calm comforting things, Butterfly wings, Emerald rings, Or a murmuring brook, Murmuring, murmuring, murmuring...look, I'm calm, I'm calm, I haven't a qualm, I'm utterly under control. Let nothing confuse me Or faze me-- [yawn] -- Excuse me. I'm calm. Oh so calm. Oh so-- [PSEUDOLUS (offstage):] Hysterium! [HYSTERIUM] I'm calm, I'm calm, I'm perfectly calm, Indifferent to tensions and shocks. Unruffled and ready, My nerves are as steady As rocks. I'm calm, controlled, So cool that I'm cold, Aloofer than any giraffe. When something's the matter, Where others would shatter I laugh. [Laughs hysterically] I must breathe deep, ever so deep, Think about sheep Going to sleep, Stop and count up to ten, 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9...when You need aplomb And want to be calm 'Cause life is a horrible dream, Just count up to ten Very slowly, and then-- [PSEUDOLUS (offstage):] Hysterium! [HYSTERIUM] [screams] Other A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum Soundtrack lyrics: Comedy Tonight lyrics Love, I Hear lyrics Free lyrics Lovely lyrics Pretty Little Picture lyrics Everybody Ought to Have a Maid lyrics Impossible lyrics Bring Me My Bride lyrics That Dirty Old Man lyrics That'll Show Him lyrics Lovely (Reprise) lyrics Funeral Sequence lyrics Finale lyrics |