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Bloodhound Gang lyrics I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks lyrics If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too Wanna see how many push-ups I can do I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks Chicks dig guys that are Queer guys that don't dig Chicks that don't dig guys like me See I'm not queer I'm too ugly But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry Scoring with a super model would be easy Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'super dumb' Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear I wish I was queer so I could get chicks Chicks dig guys that are Queer guys that don't dig Chicks that don't dig guys like me See I'm not queer I'm too ugly Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen I wish I was queer so I could get chicks Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet I wish I was queer so I could get chicks Chicks dig guys that are Queer guys that don't dig Chicks dig guys that are Queer guys that don't dig Chicks dig guys that are Queer guys that don't dig Chicks that don't dig guys like me See I'm not queer I'm too ugly And I don't shave my heiny Don't shave my heiny See I'm not queer I'm too ugly Other Bloodhound Gang lyrics: I Hope You Die lyrics The Inevitable Return Of The Great White Dope lyrics Mama's Boy lyrics Three Point One Four lyrics Mope lyrics Yummy Down On This lyrics The Ballad Of Chasey Lain lyrics RSVP lyrics Magna Cum Nada lyrics The Bad Touch lyrics That Cough Came With A Prize lyrics Take The Long Way Home lyrics Hell Yeah lyrics Turn Clyde lyrics This Is Stupid lyrics A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When the Stripper is Crying lyrics Along Comes Mary lyrics Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny lyrics Lift Your Head Up High (And Blow Your Brains Out) lyrics Fire Water Burn lyrics Why's Everybody Always Pickin' On Me lyrics It's Tricky lyrics Asleep At The Wheel lyrics Shut Up lyrics Your Only Friends Are Make Believe lyrics Boom lyrics Going Nowhere Slow lyrics Rip Taylor is God lyrics We Are the Knuckleheads lyrics Legend In My Spare Time lyrics Mama Say lyrics Kids In America lyrics You're pretty when I'm drunk lyrics The Evils Of Placenta Hustling lyrics One Way lyrics Go Down lyrics Earlameyer The Butt Pirate lyrics No Rest For The Wicked lyrics She Ain't Got No Legs lyrics We Like Meat lyrics Coo Coo Ca Choo lyrics Rang Dang lyrics Nightmare At The Apollo lyrics |