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Adam Sandler lyrics The Lonesome Kicker lyrics Me, I'm the Lonesome Kicker Extra points, field goals at your service One might think it comes with glory You might think different after you listen to my story My helmet is equipped with a tiny face mask What it possibly could protect, I do not know The other guys on the team Like to make fun of my little shoulder pads And also like to hide the special shoe I need to kick in the snow People think it's so easy To kick a field goal from the 30 yard line They forget to add seven yards for the snap And 10 more 'cause the goal posts are pushed way back In 1974, the uprights were right on the goal line But some of the players were running into them And getting hurt So screw the kicker Who cares about the kicker But I kick that ball And I pray it goes straight If it does The coach says "Good job, number 8" He doesn't even know my name is Andre Kristacovitchlalinski, Jr. But that's the life I live The Lonesome Kicker Kickoffs can be so very scary Especially, if the returner breaks on through And I'm the only guy on the playing field left to tackle him I don't want to get hurt So I pretend to tie my shoe Once again, I'm ignored by my teammates and all my coaches "Go back where you came from!" Scream 70,000 fans Well, I know I could win their love back By catching a winning touch-down But, unfortunately, I was born with these very small hands And I hope that the cameras don't come in too close 'Cause they might see the tears in my eyes As I sit on this bench made of cold-hearted wood And the splinters go deep in my thighs And the towel boy snickers as he walks by The Lonesome Kicker Another blocked kick And everybody blames me But it was the Left Guard Who didn't pick up his man Oh, why can't they see... In my home country I could have been a minor league soccer player But I came to America Seeking fortune and seeking fame I didn't realize that if I shanked one And blew the point spread Some drunk guys would push me into their hibachi After the game So I go home at night 'Cause I never get invited To go drinking with the other guys And I sit in my chair, and I soak my foot As I eat a plate of cold french fries And my wife's out with her quote-unquote friend And my son can't look me in the eyes But that's the life I live The Lonesome Kicker Kicking for you They took my snow shoe They're going for two Other Adam Sandler lyrics: Assistant Principal's Big Day lyrics At A Medium Pace lyrics Bad Boyfriend lyrics Buddy lyrics Cordurory Blues lyrics Crazy Love lyrics Dancin' And Pantsin' lyrics Dip Doodle lyrics Do It For Your Mama lyrics Fatty McGee lyrics Food Innuendo Guy lyrics Four Years Old lyrics Girl lyrics Grow Old With You lyrics I'm So Wasted lyrics Joining The Cult lyrics Listenin' To The Radio lyrics Lunchlady Land lyrics Medium Pace lyrics Memory Lane lyrics Mother's Day Song lyrics Moyda lyrics Mr. Bake-O lyrics Mr. Spindel's Phone Call lyrics My Little Chicken lyrics Ode To My Car lyrics Oh Mom... lyrics Pickin' Daisies lyrics Red Hooded Sweatshirt lyrics Right Field lyrics Santa Song lyrics Somebody Kill Me lyrics Steve Polychronopolous lyrics Sweat Beatrice lyrics Teenage Love On The Phone lyrics The Adventures Of The Cow lyrics The Beating Of A High School Bus Driver lyrics The Beating Of A High School Janitor lyrics The Beating Of A High School Science Teacher lyrics The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher lyrics The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions lyrics The Buffoon And The Valedictorian lyrics The Chanuka Song lyrics The Chanukah Song (II) lyrics The Cheerleader lyrics The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal lyrics The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman lyrics The Goat Song lyrics The Hypnotist lyrics The Longest Pee lyrics The Respect Chant lyrics The Thanksgiving Song lyrics Toll Booth Willie lyrics Voodoo lyrics What The Hell Happened To Me? lyrics |